Outtakes From A Wedding
by of self
Summary: The McDonald-Venturi wedding seen through the eyes of friends and family members. Derek/Casey. Sam/Emily. Lizzie/Edwin. George/Nora. Marti/Dimi. With appearances by Ralph, Amanda, Sheldon and a soon to be Scheleppette. AU, crack!fic.


**Outtakes from a Wedding.**

//

Part 1 – Sam and Emily.

//

"You cannot be paying me enough to do this," Sam mutters, tugging at his annoying collar which he would like to call an Evil Chokehold which has been designed to look fashionable and put hundreds of unsuspecting nice young men such as himself in acute agony. Emily swats his hand away and adjusts the bow tie, with Sam still mumbling away to glory be.

He's standing here, trussed up like a glorified pig in this constricting black tux with a crisp white shirt with impeccably starched chokehold of a collar, a mother effing bow tie and a damned cummerbund around his waist, all for the sake of a wedding, while Emily fusses over him. Now he understands why beauty is pain because while Emily assures him he looks handsome and he has gotten more than a few looks his way, he'd rather slouch around in sweats and a wife beater and be ugly. None of this beauty is pain shtick for him, thank you very much. He'd rather go for the ugly is comfort thing.

Emily however has different ideas—and he realizes with some amount chagrin, she always has had them, talk about betrayal of the worst kind—and she's the one who insists that he dress up, man up, be a good boyfriend and wear a tux for the wedding of his best bud Derek. If that wasn't enough, she's asking him to run interference. Against his best friend of all people and then try to explain to the congregation that there will be a slight delay without revealing that everything seems to be falling apart at its finely stitched seams.

"_Please_ Sam, I need to look for her and you need to look for him. And if he resists, tackle him or strangle him or do whatever you have to do. And when I find her, I'll call you or you call me when you find him. Until then keep him on lock down." She emphasizes the point with a painful poke on his chest. As it turns out, it pains her more, cause thanks to hockey, he has some serious muscles. So she glares instead and drives the point home and he nods pitifully

"Wait? Casey _and_ Derek?" he asks incredulously, slipping out of his misery for a moment to focus on the present. Emily nods grimly and Sam wants to bang his head somewhere. Preferably against a hard wall. He's not opposed to a marble floor either. What the hell is wrong with them? But then again, he's kind of not so surprised. They are Derek and Casey after all and that alone explains every crazy shenanigan they have ever been in.

Though this IS the first time he's been to a wedding where both the bride and the groom are missing. And there's an anxiously waiting congregation outside. Another thought strikes him.

"Do the `rents know?"

"They only know that their own offspring are missing. They don't know that the other one is missing too."

"And when they do, the shit's gonna hit the ceiling—no wait, the sky," Sam's says slowly, realizing that they are in quite the pretty pickle. Emily nods, tired and annoyed by all of this drama. All the months of madness _so_ cannot end with this disaster. Not if she's going to have her way. And she's going to make sure those two idiots get married before she walks out the building today. One way or another, even if she has to tie them down and have it done.

She _will_ get it done.

"So we have to find them before other parent realizes that the other one is missing." Sam states dryly.

Fan-fucking-tastic.

See, weddings are not his cup of tea or his plate of cake—vanilla and chocolate with sprinkles on the side, if you want to know. What he wanted to do and what he planned to do was: come to the wedding, fulfill best man duties, get a tad bit drunk, eat plenty of nice food and drag Emily off home for certain activities because the sight of her in the pretty yellow dress is contributing to all the heat under his already tight collar.

He usually has no problems helping Derek out—heck he's been doing that for practically all of his life, but he doesn't know if he can talk Derek into a wedding he's obviously trying to escape from.

That sort of doesn't feel right and he has a weird feeling that it invalidates the fictional and very much unwritten code of friendship. Not the bogus code that Derek tried to feed him when he wanted to date Casey but an actual unwritten code that stems from the moral implications and obligations that you owe to a person as their best friend since diapers and potty training. So if there was a code like that, Sam's pretty sure he'd be violating it.

"Those two idiots love each other. They are just too chicken to see that marriage will change nothing. They have been a married couple ever since they began living together. This only makes this legit. The point is that, this is one time where they need to know that they are doing the right thing. Getting married if you are in love, that's not a crime." Emily says tartly, reading his mind or rather expressions in a flash.

"You owe me," he grumbles, wondering when did he become such a Slave to Love. It's such a reprehensible tag and he knows it's the day, seven years ago when Emily smiled her bright wide smile at him from across the lunch table and he choked on his salad and then disappeared under the table not only to digest the salad but also the sickening news that not only was he a slave to love but he was also a slave to Emily Davis.

So emasculating.

"You will be repaid in kind with a costume and heels and maybe…" she trails off tantalizingly, tracing her fingers on the underside of his jaw. It feels feather light and there are tingles running across his skin and unwritten fictional code of friendship be damned, he's rather they bail right now because this is one time where Casey and Derek need to lift their heads out of the sand. Also, maybe, just maybe he's a little tired to helping clean Derek's messes. He loves the dude and they are 'brothers from another mother' and all that shit but really, he's a little tired.

"Let's blow this joint," he says enterprisingly, eyes shining bright at the prospect of leaving and doing _Things_.

"Unfortunately as the best man and maid of honour, we are kind of obligated to be present. Occupational hazard." She says dryly. His face falls and did he mention that he dislikes weddings?

"Whipped cream and we have a deal," Sam says mutinously, determined to milk this for all his worth. Think of it as adequate compensation. Emily glares in return and Sam's face falls further.

"_Fine_, I'll go."

He is not being paid enough for this. Maybe when he gets to his best friend, he should strangle him and dispose of the body for being such an idiot. Who proposes marriage and love in sickness and in health forever and then runs for the hills on the day of wedding?

The one and only Derek Venturi, that's who.

On his disgruntled way to search for the missing groom, he grabs Ralph and Sheldon.

He will _not_ suffer alone.

//

Part 2 – Derek.

//

He cannot even begin to think why he agreed to this whole frilly nonsense in the first place. Was his brain on the fritz? The answer comes to him in a flash. Casey was talking and he was undergoing some deprivation and as a result he may have focused more on her pink, clearly glossed lips rather than the words coming out of it and then he must have nodded in acquiescence to whatever she said.

It would surely explain the new hallway carpet they have. Also the new dishwasher and also the new refrigerator as a matter of fact. Damn it, he needs to stop being such an idiot and start paying attention to whatever she's saying cause at this rate he's going to be one broke hockey rookie.

What it does not explain is how they are on their way to getting married now, in another hour or so.

See, he was perfectly happy being engaged. And as far he can remember so was she. And then she goes and springs the whole marriage thing on him, recalling wistfully, the latest wedding she had been to-- Ralph and Amanda's by the way--and how Amanda looked so pretty with flowers in her hair and big white gown. And how Ralph was beaming as Amanda walked down the aisle, looking as if his heart would burst from happiness.

She definitely knows how to spring a fucking big guilt trip on a guy.

And then he tries to comfort her and says a few words and apparently, the next moment she's jumping for joy and he's hyperventilating over what he just said. It all happened so fast, almost in a blur. The thing is, marriage was on the cards, like eventually when they were maybe forty or something. But forty is a long way off and he's too young now, for god sakes he's only twenty four and there are still sixteen years to go!

He knows he should have backtracked quickly and aborted what was on its way to becoming a glorified suicide mission but at the risk of sounding like an even bigger douche bag than usual, he didn't. And when wedding preparations ran full steam ahead, he broke out in cold sweats in a corner and hoped nobody noticed. He also tried not to faint out of sheer horror when she asked him about flowers and cards and the like. Somehow he made it till today, thinking pre-wedding jitters would go away on _the_ day.

Cleary the jitters haven't gone away because today is the wedding and he's not the one waiting in the hall and looking down the aisle for his dearly beloved.

That thought brings on another wave of panic and he sits in the tiny bathroom cubicle, puffing away furiously on a cigarette given to him by Edwin to ease the nerves— cause surprisingly Edwin smokes now. Didn't peg his little brother for that kind of guy and this is _so_ NOT the point he should be debating right now. Right now, he's a delinquent groom and he should be wondering if there's any way he can make a break for it and not have Casey go ape-shit on his sorry ass.

Cause don't get him wrong, he loves her and all that jazz but the thought of getting married, now, it's making him spontaneously lose hair and break out in cold sweats.

God, what is he doing with his life?

//

Part 3 – Casey.

//

Okay fine.

She wanted the wedding, complete with lilies and roses and pretty spangled dress with the white frosting covered cake with pink rosettes on the side. But she never thought that when push came to shove, she'd want to bail. Or that she would kind of sort of bail. This is why as of now, instead of being inside the dressing room and admiring herself in the mirror, she's currently hiding near the poolside area of the hotel, at the poolside bar.

The barman doesn't give her weird looks, acting as if runaway brides were a common everyday occurrence and when she comes breathlessly running and plops herself on a bar stool, he pours her a glass of lemon juice.

"If you still want to go through with the wedding, getting drunk does not photograph well," he says kindly and she nods because after all he has a point. She loves Derek and she's pretty sure she wanted to marry him, but today morning when she woke up and saw her dress, all she could think of was, 'oh my fucking god, I going to be bound in holy matrimony to a guy forever and what is doesn't work out?"

She sips her lemon juices and curses her insecurities because she really wants the happy ending, the picket fences and the two kids and dog except she doesn't want that whole carefully built dream to be shattered into tiny little pieces.

It's always been a tiny fear niggling at the back of her head but for the past few months, it's been growing like a cancerous tumor, invading her ever good thought and eroding on her shakily built confidence and today it's finally won it's battle because she's too scared to go out there on the altar and face Derek and the possibility that nothing might ever be the same again and that happy endings are just fairytales, told to soothe and put a mind at ease.

She's not a runaway bride, she's really not but just for today, the price of knowing that some dreams may never come true is a little too steep for her to handle.

And for the first time in her life, she just wants to hide until it all passes and hell freezes over.

Then she won't have to see Derek's angry eyes shaded with betrayal and anger and worst of all hate.

Not for the first time in her life, she hates herself.

//

Part 4 – Lizzie and Edwin_._

_//_

Lizzie hates weddings. Not because of all the finery around, she loves that part and she loves the romanticism behind them. It's just that she doesn't want to be the one sitting in a dress and slippery heels as old relatives asks her when _she's_ getting married and then try to set her up with their grand kids who are invariably shorter than her and haven't heard of the word hygiene.

For goodness sakes, she's just twenty and in the middle of college and there's the world to save and people to convert to vegetarianism before she can think of even settling down. Also she thinks that the boy she's going to fall in love with; he's going to have hair which reminds her warm sunny days and smells as fresh as the blue ocean. But when she tells people that—not the hair part but the other part—they look at her pityingly and say that she needn't fear, the right boy is just around the corner. Needless to say it annoys the heck out of her.

She's currently escaping from an enterprising Grandma who has a Grand Plan involving Lizzie and her pimply grandson when she bumps into someone around the corner. As she catches her breath and holds on to a perilously descending strap—damn you silk—she realizes it's Edwin looking disheveled and harried, with an unlit cigarette dangling from his lips. He seems a little out of breath and he constantly keeps looking over his shoulder, as if he were expecting someone to jump out at him from somewhere.

"Oh hi Liz," he says casually as if her were not on the run from something. That's Edwin for you. The grown up version at least whose voice is never flustered or harried but always light and amused. She misses the younger version terribly sometimes

"Escaping?" she breathes a little heavily because she's in heels and heels are so not her A-game.

"Cousin Denise," he replies with a tiny almost imperceptible shudder. And Lizzie nods knowingly. Cousin Denise; the best word for her would be a cougar. She's a distant cousin, but always a fixture at family weddings because of the young blood that is around. That's the unofficial talk. The official talk is that she's there because she loves her family. But mother's keep their young teenage sons close and god help any unattached man who just so happens to have a fat wallet full of greens and not of the healthy kind.

"I distinctly remember toting a husband around the last time I saw her," Lizzie says frowning and remembering that the last time she saw Denise was at her parents wedding anniversary a year ago, with a frail old man on her arm, whom she lovingly addressed as Pookie.

"Not anymore. May the dude rest in peace." Edwin mutters before lighting up and taking a drag. At once his slightly pinched face relaxes and Lizzie realizes she's never asked Edwin why he smokes even though she knows he's been doing it for the past three years, ever since college began. And while she doesn't like the smoke plumes which willow about his face and settle on his clothes, giving off a slightly bitter and pungent smell, she will admit—secretly in her heart of hearts— that Edwin has never looked cuter with his ruffled hair and skinny gangly self, minus the cigarette.

She sighs and asks instead, "Why do you smoke?"

Edwin looks at her with a raised eyebrow before answering lightly. "I spend hours in a lab hunched over prettily coloured explosive and noxious chemicals. Alcohol scares me with its flammability. I'm too tired to have a constant hobby. This is the only thing that helps me relax, despite the fact that it will pretty soon turn my lungs into tar and kill me someday."

She does not know what to make of that. In a way it makes sense—in a very Edwin sort of way—but then again she feels he's hiding something. At least he knows of its ill effects even though he still continues to puff away so she just nods. You can't have everything and sometimes you just have to deal with choices.

"Want to go sit somewhere?" He offers and she nods gratefully because God Almighty, these heels are killing her and because she also knows that it will be sometime before an absconding Casey can be found and she doesn't want to go back to Grandma and Pimple Boy. For once, she wants no part of this drama.

They find an empty spacious closet, because it's a pretty fancy hotel after all and as they settle down amongst mops and brushes and buckets of various kinds, talking about everything in their own lives so far, it almost feels like old times, except they are a little older and wiser.

But it still feels good because for these few seconds, the world just revolves around the two of them.

She's missed that feeling.

//

Part 5 - Nora.

//

She should have never agreed to this thing in the first place. Quite simply, she should have put her foot down, like the times of old. It was obvious that Casey wasn't ready for marriage and it was surprising that Derek was the ready one. She should have known both of them weren't ready cause don't think she missed the way Derek cringed whenever Casey mentioned wedding or the way Casey's eyes would glaze over, and not in a good way whenever someone congratulated her on her upcoming wedding.

She should have done something and if she had done something, then whatever was happening now wouldn't be happening.

Now she has a daughter who is missing and she doesn't know where the rest of her family is because they also very conveniently seem to be missing. Lizzie was there with her but then she saw Abby's Aunt Josephine and she ran. Nora technically can't blame her. Aunt Josephine is scary and smells like burnt fish. Edwin said he was going for a small walk— partly to escape from Cousin Denise and also partly to take a cigarette break. And while Nora doesn't approve of her middle one continually puffing away at a cancer stick, she supposes Cousin Denise would drive any sane person to wrack and ruin so this one time she's going to let it slide. Marti has not been seen since they entered the church together as a family. Nora strongly suspects a teenage boy is to blame. Their littlest one, Andy is with George and George who is supposed to be helping her not panic now is also missing.

Really her family has a habit of abandoning her when she needs their help the most and then most suspiciously congregating again when there's food on the table. But her missing family is the least of her worries now, well one member of it the most important of her worries now.

She has a bored congregation outside and an errant bride hiding somewhere and desperately she calls up the only person she can seem to count on now—Emily, simply because she needs help with a capital H.

The exchange is brief and quick because it seems even Emily had known that something like this would happen or rather she expected something like this to happen. As soon as Emily leaves, Nora takes one look at the people outside. There's her cousin Fiona sitting outside with her daughter Vicki and Nora's not sure she can face them and their smirking selves right now. She ducks back in and then takes a deep breath.

She's hiding here until Casey comes back.

Maybe what she needs now is some Dutch courage. She opens her small purse, takes out a silver flask which she slipped in while at home and takes a quick gulp. The flask goes back in again—quick as it came our and Nora feels slightly better than before.

Now back to the matter at hand. Where in hell is Casey?

//

Part 6 – Marti.

//

This wedding is so bogus and Marti is wondering why she's even here. Then she sighs. It's the collective threat of Nora and Casey going loco on her behind that made her grudgingly attend this farce. Yes, this stupid wedding is a farce and since when did Derek and Casey need a marriage to validate what they already had. She knows for sure Casey and Derek are missing. The thing is she saw them both racing out of their dressing rooms. And she would have warned someone except she saw this really cute guy with a tamed Mohawk and kind of got distracted. When she found out Mohawk dude had piercing in his right ear, she sadly gave up on her pursuit because the guy was gay.

But apparently by that time Derek and Casey had made good their escape. Casey was quite fast despite the quantity of fabric she was wearing and the perilously high heels she was wearing. Derek of course raced for freedom as it were the last burrito on the table.

Somehow she had a feeling that would happen.

And now she's sitting outside the hall feeling bored as hell. She knows the wedding wont happen soon, there's a disgusting lack of cute boys in the hall and her other siblings also seem to have abandoned her.

"Hey Marti," a voice says and she turns around to find Damien Davis—or Dimi as she's known him ever since the both first learnt how to speak— standing a distance away and shyly smiling at her. Her face brightens and she smiles back at him. Finally someone her age in this stick in the mud place.

"Hi," she says brightly and Dimi comes down and sits next to her. She's sitting on the steps, when she technically shouldn't be because her dress is made from chiffon and all but who cares. She likes the fact that Dimi also doesn't mind sitting down in his tux. He always was a fun person to hang with and even when she came up with the most outrageous of stuff to do, he'd go along, all game. And if he was in the mood, he'd think up even zanier stuff to do.

That was when they were little though. Now they are both sixteen and that teenage awkwardness thing which happens between two teens of the opposite sex kind of settled in when they were thirteen or so and since then , they become those almost friend type of people who wave at each other in the hallways, occasionally talk and even more occasionally have lunch together.

High school. It kind of does tend to separate you.

He looks quite good in his tux by the way.

"You look pretty," he says with a charming smile and Marti can feel a blush blooming along her cheeks. She's not the kind that usually blushes and all but this is Dimi and he had seen her diapers and quiet sadly, even naked so yeah, it makes her go fire engine red.

"You look nice too," she mumbles furiously, still blushing and when she peeks at him out of the corner of her eye, she can see that he's blushing too. His cheeks are faintly pink and he's staring at the crease in his trousers like his life depends on them.

They might be blushing furiously and having this awkward silent thing going but Marti thinks this is pretty nice.

She has no problems staying here like this with him.

Wedding with no bride AND groom be damned.

//

Part 7 – George.

//

For George, worrying is like second nature. Ever since Derek learnt to walk, worrying became an ingrained natural reflex. So he's not surprised that on Derek's wedding day he's shitting in his pants, and generally behaving like a headless chicken.

He should have known that since this was Derek and Casey's wedding, nothing would have gone smoothly. H should have been prepared for someone running out. And quite frankly he had pegged Casey to bolt. But not Derek. Because Derek, didn't back down from anything. Even if it meant committing the biggest mistake of his life, he would have gone ahead. That way he preferred Casey's practicality.

But of all days, today is the day Derek decides to bail. Which is why George is currently acting like a headless chicken and running around with his youngest Andy who is convinced that all of this is immensely funny.

And if George were a third party observer, he would feel sorry for the poor bastard but he would also find this funny.

Unfortunately he's the poor bastard here and no, none of this is funny at all.

And the worst part of this is that he needs to find Derek and drag him back to the wedding hall before Nora even gets a whiff of this disaster.

He needs to call in back-up.

He sits down, pulls Andy onto his lap to keep him from running off—because really, he doesn't need Nora to think that he has reached new heights of incompetence and he makes a phone call.

"Sheldon? Yeah, find Derek. Put him on a leash if you have too. Be brutal. He cannot escape again."

Boy does he ever feel like a poacher going in fro big game.

It is a little weird that his game happens to be lanky, scrawny and possessor of a marvelous head of hair.

Then again, when has his life not been weird? Andy tugs on his tie and George hastily looks down before he chokes.

"Daddy, I gotta go," he says looking dreadfully pained and then it strikes George.

Oh, potty break.

"Come along kiddo."

The duties of a father never end, whether it be, fishing out errant missing sons from the depths of invisibility or carting the youngest off to the loos.

//

Part 8 – Ralph and Sheldon.

//

"Dude, I am not the shiniest bagel slicer around but seriously, is Derek nuts, bailing on his own wedding?" Ralph asks exasperated as he, Sam and Sheldon hurry around, searching for that rarest of species, an apparently commitment phobic, and peas for brains Derek Venturi.

Yes, even Ralph of the eternal and unflagging optimism is quite frankly annoyed. He begged off a heavy workday at the kitchen and signed on for an eighteen hour shift in order to be able to attend this shindig. You'd think Derek would at least show him the least bit of courtesy by being there for his own wedding. After all, he was there was his own wedding wasn't he?

These new-fangled hockey rookies. Such ideas they had nowadays, not showing up to their own weddings and all. Ralph was not amused.

"It's Derek. He _is_ nuts." Sheldon quips dryly, feeling exasperated himself. There was a pretty girl. Really pretty. And she didn't laugh when he said his name was Sheldon Schlepper. And nor did she laugh when he hinted in a roundabout way that he was single and pretty decent. In fact, she laughed at his feeble jokes and foot-in-the-mouth situations he got himself into. He mentioned a wrinkled old prune who was giving him the evil eye. Turned out that was her Nana. But still, she let him march on and stumble over words and generally be his Sheldon self.

It was a gift from the heavens for being so virtuous and now instead of chatting up the pretty girl he's on the hunt for an idiot who proposed marriage but is Missing In Action on the day.

Seriously, who does that?

And more importantly, what about the pretty girl.

But Sam is unforgiving and he mutters something about not sinking alone as he yanks Sheldon away by the collar as Sheldon incoherently promises that he will be back and please— 'don't go anywhere. You are too pretty and I love you and please—'

"He owes me," he mutters loudly and equally loudly Sam and Ralph grunt in agreement as they continue on their merry way to search for the rare species called Derek Venturi.

It's so Reservoir dogs, the way they are walking now, all smart and dashing until Sam trips over Ralph's foot. He swears and quickly gets up again while Ralph looks pleasantly bemused while Sheldon sighs with weariness. Will he never get to be cool?

Sam straightens his slightly askew bow tie, glares at Ralph and marches on, vibrating with righteousness that always accompanies a man on a mission

And the montage continues.

* * *

"Dearly beloved. We have gathered here today to bind in holy matrimony—"

_Three hours before_.

Part 8 - Everyone except for Marti and Dimi and Little Andy. (Because the little ones don't need to see this. Marti and Dimi are not exactly little but they probably find each other more interesting than Derek and Casey drama.)

//

"You snot rag! You were going to ditch me!" Casey screeches loudly. Everybody delicately winces because Casey was never easy on the ears and Derek looks bored. Or maybe it's just a show. With him, you never know.

"Relax princess, it's not like you weren't going to ditch me too." With this rejoinder he glares pointedly at her and Nora gazes heavenwards. Whatever did she do to deserve two kids who would run out on each other on their own wedding? Nothing, she tells you nothing.

Meanwhile, Ralph says what everyone has been dying to say or has at least thought about it.

"Snot rag? Seriously, is that what they are teaching in How To Insult Your Absconding Fiancé 101 nowadays?" Instinctively a series of hushes born out of practice of being Ralph's friend are thrown his way.

"Oh hush up. It's not like you all haven't thought it," Ralph says irritably. And a series of guilty looks are thrown his way. Ralph smirks and folds his arms smugly. Score one for Ralphie.

"I wasn't and you know it. I was just drowning my sorrows." Casey says heatedly and now she's poking Derek in the chest for added emphasis. Slowly, one by one people start sitting down. They know the inevitable end but getting there is the tiresome part and they'd rather do it while they are comfortably ensconced on plush leather sofas. They are in one of the tea rooms of the hotel and a kind waiter has also provided them with buttered scones and hot coffee and Sam and Nora cannot help but look longing at them. However, there is an Epic Fight going on and Propriety must be maintained.

Ralph however has no qualms. As fast as he can, he pushes scones down his throat. Finally Nora and Sam give in and Emily cannot be bothered to correct this gross breach of propriety. And she just might have to fuel herself too cause this promises to be epic and long.

(Never mind the fact that the bride and groom aren't supposed to see each other before the wedding let alone duke it out in a comfy room somewhere. It's Derek and Casey. They always did do it their way.)

"Please. I know you better than you know yourself. Admit it Spacey, you were going to bail. SO don't get all high and mighty on me." Derek snarls right back.

"Maybe I wanted to run simply because I didn't want whatever we had to be ruined. I mean what if we got married and ended up like some broken cold couple?" her nose is quivering and her lips are wobbling. Derek makes a half-hearted groan and gathers her in his arms.

"I was running not because I don't love you but because I'm too stupid and immature for marriage," Derek mumbles into her hair. Casey's arms tighten around him, comfortingly and he relaxes visibly. He loves her. He's loved her since when he was fifteen.

But marriage? Who the hell said they needed a ring to prove their commitment to each other.

Nora groans and sinks her head into her hands. She should have known. Cause she's the mom and she should have known. There is some sort of rule which states that Moms should know everything, even by default.

Sheldon is staring at them in stupefaction.

"I thought this was going to be a throwdown of some kind and I thought if I left Casey would go apeshit on my ass. But since love is back in the air, excuse me I've gotta go. There's a pretty girl who ACTUALLY likes me and might consider being a Schleppette. Seize the day the day and all." He says and exits the room.

Meanwhile silence prevails all around the room. Nobody knows quite how to respond.

So George awkwardly leads the way.

"Erm, you two sort it out. We'll be outside…doing stuff."

Everyone trails out after George, awkwardly of course. Casey and Derek sigh and spend sometime you know, just smelling each other for comfort. Until Emily pops her head back in.

She looks like she's going to reprimand them but then she simply shakes her head in resignation and smiles at them and leaves.

Casey turns to Derek.

"You know, we can call off the marriage. You are not ready, I'm a mess and the priest must have already left."

Derek just rests his chin on Casey's head and hums contentedly. And then maybe the smell of flowers in Casey's hair is doing something to him because he gets this really wonderful idea. Like it simply blows out of the water all his other ideas.

"I have an idea," he says with a grin and he pulls her along disregarding the bemused expression on Casey's face.

//

Part 9 – Back To The Present. (Everyone attending the ceremony. Including the formerly absconding Bride and Groom too.)

//

"Dearly beloved, we have gathered here today to bind in Holy Matrimony—"The priest then stops in confusion when Derek bashfully motions him to stop and beckons him close. He then whispers in the priest's ear and while the priest looks confuse for a while, he then shrugs philosophically. Kids these days have such newfangled customs which are obviously beyond him. However one must go with the flow.

"Dearly beloved, we have gathered here today to NOT bind in Holy Matrimony, Derek James Venturi and Casey Elizabeth McDonald who are NOT a couple."

Gasps echo around the audience and Nora is clutching at her heart. She wants to slink lower in her seat and not face her family members ever again. That is until she looks around and see's her family that is Lizzie, Edwin, Marti and George smiling indulgently. Meanwhile, Emily is suppressing her laughter and Sam just looks relieved. And then she decides, if they can deal, so can she cause the eventually, this means that Derek and Casey are getting married. And one must be thankful for small mercies. So she sits up straighter and continues watching, at times even feeling a little teary, cause dammit, weddings are beautiful y'know.

"You may now er, not kiss the bride." The priest looks a little worried. That was what he was supposed to say right?

Well the groom is grinning and the bride is blushing so yeah, he must be doing it right.

Whew! Thank goodness for that.

//

Part 10 – The After Party.

//

Now that all the drama is done with and all ceremonies like the first dance, the throwing of the bouquet have been dispensed with, everybody is kicking back. Sam is dancing with Emily in his arms, her head tucked under his chin and as he looks around he decides that someday, he wants to see Emily in a pretty white dress too. And he's not going to give her any grief by running out and all. Cause Sam has known for a while now that Emily is The One.

"You know I love you right? And I promise, I won't ever run out on you." Emily smiles up at him and presses her lips to his.

She murmurs, "I know. And I love you too. And if you ever did run out, I would run behind you and bring you back." She then once again tucks her head under his chin, content with everything.

Sam smiles.

That is _so_ his girl.

//

Edwin gazes around shiftily before finally walking up to Lizzie who looks bored to death next to Pimple Face.

"Hey Liz, you er, wanna dance?" he's a little nervous because this is just the beginning of the things he really desperately wants to as Lizzie. SO he's glad when she doesn't even hesitate and takes his offered arm and sweeps him off, far far away from the talons a disgruntled Cousin Denise he notices.

"So Edwin, is there something you wanna ask me?" Her eyes are twinkling and Edwin wonders if she can read his mind. But then again, they have always been able to do that so it's not surprising. And he's also glad that she brought it up, straight upfront. That's one of the many things he likes about Lizzie. She never ever beats around the bush. So in the spirit of things, maybe he should also come straight to the point.

"Look, I know you are not a big fan of cheesy stuff, but I have something to tell you," he twirls her around and notices with interest the way her cheeks have turned this shade of light soft pink. "I love you."

And then he stops. Not because she asks him to but because this is a moment where he wants to be able to look her straight in the eye and find out what is her response.

And then he gets it. The response that is.

Her eyes are filling up and he's biting back his horror. You know, she could just tell him she doesn't love him. No need to be all weepy about it.

He shifts uncomfortably, his hands clammy on the smooth skin of her back. "Look Liz, its fine if you don't. But er, please don't cry." Casey just might kill him and Derek will have to obligatorily chop him up because Casey will look at him with _those_ eyes and Derek will be all, 'a married man's got to do what a married man's gotta do.'

"You idiot. So long I waited for you to say those there stupid little words. If I had known it would have taken you a wedding – specifically Derek and Casey's wedding to say it, I would have gotten them married the moment they became legal." She's laughing and crying but not in this obnoxious way and Edwin can feel his shoulders sag with relief. Oh _okay_, that's cool. _Those_ kind of tears he can deal with.

"Great. Er, not to be rude and all but could you just say it back. I'll fell much better then." Oh god, he's blushing like an awkward teenager now.

"Edwin, you idiot, I love you." There, she said it. Edwin's life and day is officially made. He smiles and rests his head on her shoulder because she's taller than him in heels. And then they continue moving, like they never stopped at all.

"By the way can we NOT tell the 'rents immediately? Dad will have a coronary and Nora just might go mad."

"I completely agree."

And Edwin smiles. Later on when Pimple Face comes near, hoping for a dance, Edwin totally scares him by looking all badass and muttering a few words into his ear. Like how if he ever comes near Lizzie again, Edwin will dip him in a vat of flammable chemicals and THEN set it on fire. Lizzie is totally amused but when Cousin Denise comes by and rakes her fingernails along Edwin's arm, she gets totally territorial and grabs Edwin and kisses him, thereby effectively sending a message.

Edwin smirks. The parents are gonna know now.

But it was so worth it.

//

Marti and Dimi are dancing and looking y'know generally cute like awkward blushing teens tend to do.

But Nora has to visibly restrain George from cutting in.

"Oh let her be. She's sixteen and besides they look so adorable." But George is outraged and gasping like a dying fish. So Nora plants one on him and calms him down.

"Can I have more please?" He looks so adorably hopefully that Nora cannot help but laugh and steer him away to dance. And to _ahem_, plant some more on him.

//

Derek and Casey have kind of lost count of all the dances they have danced. But whatever, it's their wedding and neither wants to let go of each other.

And they're in the middle of this song which they don't know the name of but which just might be, you know, their song when Casey gets a little weepy.

Derek as has always been his nature treads with caution here. "What's wrong Case?"

"Oh nothing." He raises an eyebrow and she continues, "It's just that I am so happy and these are happy tears and I'm just really _really_ happy." She's sniffling now and Derek is being an exemplary husband by letting her sniffle on his expensive tux.

"I will admit this only one time. This is the best day of my life. Ever." That only makes Casey weep more but is also smiling. Derek shrugs and smiles and figures that if there's a lifetime filled with happy tears ahead of him he'll deal.

He knows there will be sad tears too and while he isn't honestly looking forward to that, cause he doesn't like Casey being unhappy and all, he'll still deal.

Cause he loves her.

And the priest bound them together forever.

And once again, he'll never admit this to anyone but the thought of being married to Casey forever, that's the stuff dreams are made off.

Yep, he went there.

//

Sheldon is sitting with the Scheleppette at his side and he's so happy that he could kiss anyone. But that's not going to work so he kisses the Scheleppette at his side. Which is way beyond awesome, just so you know.

//

Ralph and Amanda are discussing something really serious.

And no, it does not involve bagel slicers. But it involves something else starting with the letter b.

The joy on their faces says it all.

//

This cake is glorious. Andy is in LOVE with it. It's got chocolate and more chocolate and it's decked with candied fruit.

Andy is in heaven. And come to think of it, he would so marry this cake.

For real.

Maybe he should ask his parents how to go about it.

They will definitely know.

And all is well that ends well.

//

The End.

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I was only supposed to put this up donkey's ages ago but then I lost few of my files, including this one and writing the whole thing again was a pain. But it's done now. :)


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